The 10 Dos and Donts of Flirting

After a very illustrious career in the art of flirting, its my time to give back something to the flirting community. Hereby I summarize a few basics every guy deserves 2 know about girls and how best to impress them.

Assumptions:
1. The guy has intentions only to flirt and have some light fun.
2. The girl is somewhere midway between indian and western culture(the rest of em arent worth all the effort neway[:-P]).
3. Valid till your first official date.

1. To begin with the beginning, the most fundamental of concepts. Whenever you get a "watz up?" msg, never say "NOTHIN MCH". Which girl wants to converse with a guy who has got nothing much to do at 8 or 9 in d evening! Pick up rather an intersting subject say "m messd up in a crossword" or "surfing a strange website" n google 1 immediately[;-)]. never try to impress too much too fast with a "am studyng astrophysics for fun" line and if you are actually doing something sensible, which i find hard 2 believe, you could say that too, at ur own risk.[:-P]

2. Something to etch deep in ur minds. No girl is beyond reach if you are in talking terms. All you have to be is smart and patient and stick to the protocol. They have a thing for smart guyz neway.[;-)]

3. When you talk, listen. Dont stare and you know where.[;-)] Dont look away a lot. Listening is a big part of the deal. 2 mins of good listening is a far better effort than 5 mins of good joke-cutting. You ll have your time to spill your good humour, if you have one. Save it for later.

4. Precaution. The point where most guyz lose it. When the girl flirts back, "never get carried away". Itz working, you know it and she doesnt have to know it. Retain the edge. Be happy with the compliment and switch quickly to a topic, less flirtatious and more on the same lines. This would be a good time for your humour to rescue you from falling right into the bear-trap.

5. Know when to end your conversations. End on a high note. Dont drag it if you know you are doing well. Enjoy the hangover and let her feel, "I wish he talked a little more. Damn idiot, had to leave just when it was getting interesting!!"

6. The need to be the bigger guy. While in the presence of a third person, learn to play it mature. Kisine ache se line pe ladki k saamne gandi uda d, to zaruri nehi he muh phad k ganda sa pj maar do. Give a smile and say "nice1". She knows you cant be the smartest all the time and thats ok. You know how often she has been dumb neway.[;-)]

7. Dont overdo your good impressions. She likes the way you are so good at writing, to roz "poem" ya "khat" likhne ki zarurat nehi he. She likes how you got an award for a "chinese crockery" competition, to roz sunane ki zarurat nehi he. Always have new lines up ur sleeve. The old ones have done their job just fine.

8. Never give stupid advices if she approaches you when upset. "sab thik ho jayega na". "tumse koi kaise jhagda kar sakta he". "teachers to bewakuf hote hen. they cant see your true potential. I can". Stop being an ass-kisser. If she has a genuine prob, you ll always have a genuine advice. If she doesnt, imagine how many of those would come your way once you woo her over.[:-P]

9. Learn to be good at a few things. Just the smooth talking wont take you a long way. This would be the horizon where knowledge and flirting meet. A good iq level is always healthy unless you are an enormously hot guy with all flex muscles, tall and a cool hairstyle supposedly. uske agey kafi ladkiyon ko kuch dino tak atleast, baki kuch nehi sujhta and you can afford to be dumb and like, "I work out 4 hours in gym everyday while am not sleeping or daydreaming about you".

10. Never ever flirt with your friends unless you are in love with them or you are too sure they would never fall for a guy like you. The latter being the more probable. You dont wanna jeopardise what you have with your friends. Let them be the listeners of your "flirting escapades".[:-)]

The aforesaid basics should work for quite a few years to come and i have a feeling I wont need them much having this strong urge for a more "career-driven" lifestyle now. I resign and I have passed the baton to a community that keeps hearts beating. jiyo!!:)

Facebook Fever

This article is a valuable preface to the inconsequential natter of the facebook mania. Posts after posts in facebook, have undergone the painstaking process of suffering from the writer's freedom of choosing a convenient outlet to dispense with man's irrestible desire to talk. The facebook phenomenon isnt just about socialising with out-of-touch friends anymore. There is more to it, than that touches any periphery of wisdom and reason.
What is a piece of writing without some irony and some controversial judgements and a little humour for people who can read between the lines. "Whats on your mind?", says the facebook status window and people are literally liberal with their emotional urge to share, with their friends, not so friends, strangers they are trying to impress, strangers they wouldnt care to notice passing next to them on their way, their mundane explores of everyday, of every hour, of every minute. Itz like a revolution for the information age where you know how your friend dealt wid the frenzied situation when he last had loose motions.
Facebook is still underrated. It isnt jst media. It isnt jst a useless hobby. Itz a cold-war weapon. Sooner it would be on the ads, "have a broken heart, want 2 gt bk on ur ex?..open fb and type in some text", "a friend screwed u up, want 2 get back on top?..open your last album and few pixels you crop". Commited..single...commited..single..commited...(and now we have a "its complicated" to save the fb servers the regular, predictable updates). Luckily-unluckily, I have a fb account too:)
Fb isnt all about these textual encounters aftrall. Itz a creative undertaker, a talent-findng software product allowing, the girl inside the guy to feed and see fishes mate in an aquarium(happy aquarium apparently), and the boy inside the girl(strictly not in a literal sense) to plough and clean farms in farmville and the lousy Indian flirt to be smart with a Swedish girl on a poker table. Fb promotes the opportunity to the "so-called smart" guyz to send friend requests to girls they have only had the guts to ogle at and flirt wid girls they later realize were only "hairy dudes". If it wasnt for fb, there would never be those "long-wet-dreamz"[;)]
Fb is the official battleground of snobbery. "Look at my recntly uploaded album and all the chicks in it around me, and you thought I was dumb with girls(the last part is left to the reders's discretion to understand)". "My dad gotta new cell, mum gotta new purse, neighbour gotta cute, new puppy and i finally got an underwear". Even if I were puttng thoughts into some minds, trust me, a status like that will not only earn lots of likes bt ll totally deserve them and thats all what life is really abt-flaunting globally about the best you got. A thank-you or a sorry isnt personal anymore like it ever had to be. "Thank you for " and thats like a showpiece on your famous fb wall left to be discussed. Thats not so dumb as much as it is brave to be so dumb so publicly.[;)]
All said and done, facebook is now indispensable as I finally come forth with the last of the ironies in my article. Having written this, all I have to do now is post an advertisement on fb and be a part of the big joke:)